“How did it get so late so soon?” – Dr. Seuss
I have been thinking a lot about time, and there is a tied emotion for which I have no words to articulate. I know that I have been wandering around this universe with this incredibly dark cloud following me. The familiar feeling of resentment that I’m sure everyone has felt, every once in a while, the one that makes you want to blame someone, something, perhaps even yourself, for feeling the way you do. I can’t place my thumb on the specifics of it but I know that, sometimes, I think time can be a big nuisance because it inconveniently never stops. This feeling has made me despise words like “later.” What an unreliable word to use for things that you care for. “I will get to that later.” “I’ll see my friends later.” “I’ll travel later.” To wait is such a waste and I was reminded of that when I recently read “Oh, the places you’ll go!” by Dr. Seuss. There was a couple of pages dedicated to the concept of waiting. In truth, I don’t think that there will ever be a right time to do anything. That is why I believe that it is absolutely my prerogative to spend my time how I see fit.
I am done with feeling as if I have to mold myself to fit in with society’s expectations. I am a firm supporter of people going against the grain and understanding that quality of life is not meant for later. I grew up with my parents pinching pennies and working an absurd amount of hours so they can better their lives. I have seen first hand that superficial (materialistic) things such as a nice car, a massive house, or even luxurious vacations — won’t make up for the time that you have wasted with “later.” I don’t think there will ever be enough money in the world to make you any happier than when you are spending time doing things that can make your heart happy.
It sounds selfish but is it wrong? There are so many angry people. I can go on and on about the lack of humanity but I’ll digress down into a rabbit hole with that. Instead, I’m just going to go ahead and stop thinking about the future and focus on the now.